“My topic was the composition of the human fart, which is made up of 60% nitrogen, 20% hydrogen, 10% carbon dioxide, 5-10% methane and 1% hydrogen sulphide (the smelly bit),” our scientific friend informs.
“I think action needs to be taken -- a serious cull or mitigation through administration of a GM vaccine,” he goes on. Meanwhile, the Hound’s correspondent believes the other burning issue is the health & safety aspect.
“Both methane and hydrogen (35% of the composition of said fart) are FLAMMABLE!” he explains. “Something must be done!” His proposal is an immediate declaration of a ‘Fart Emergency’. “Alas, with all the hot air coming our way since the coalition took office.”