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(From top-left): hanskrieksafe, ahoggardfedfarms, jcollinsminister. (From bottom-left): johnkeypm, johnmcarthymie, tgrosserusambassador, tspieringsfonterra.
Rural News' irreverent and hypothetical look at what's happening in the farming world.
hanskrieksafe: Assh a well-known animalsh lover – and not jusht in the biblical senshe – I find it rathsher dishturbing that in New Zhealand dairy farmshers actshually farmsh dairy cowshs. #veganforlife #meatismurder
ahoggardfedfarms: So @hanskrieksafe, you sat on that bobby calf footage for 15 months before releasing it to a sensationalist TV programme? Good thing you care more about animal welfare than publicity, eh! #fullofit #meattastesgood
hanskrieksafe: Listshen @ahoggardfedfarms, I do lovesh little birdsh, wormsh, sheepsh and calvesh, but it is justsh that I lovesh publishity more! #mediawhore
ahoggardfedfarms @hanskrieksafe: To misquote Nigel Powers – father of Austin – there are only two things I hate in this world : racial intolerance and Dutch animal extremists! You just hit the jackpot. #2for1 #nutjob
jcollinsminister: Thanks@johnkeypm for reinstating me back into the Cabinet. It makes it much easier for me to stab you in the front now; rather than in the back from the backbenches. #backinthetent
johnkeypm: No worries @jcollinminister, but I might borrow one of those stab-proof vests you introduced to the force last time you were police minister. #watchingmybackfrontandsides
johnmcarthymie: It's great to see that MIE will continue fighting the good fight in the meat industry – despite more resignations from its executive than Colin Craig's political party. Actually I wonder if Colin is available to join MIE? #whatisthepoint #whatdowedonow #whoisleft #whocares
tgrosserusambassador: I'm off to the US of A to try to negotiate with the likes of Donald Trump and the gun lobby – much more rational proponents than trying to get sense out of the anti-TPP fanatics like Jane Kelsey or climate change doomsayers in the Green Party! #bliss #solongsuckers
tspieringsfonterra: You know I havshe mucsh in commonsh withsh @hanskrieksafe – we are both Dutchsh and both of ussh are shlowy destroying the NZ dairy indushtry in our own waysh. #doubledutch #timeforanotherpayrise
OPINION: Entering Parliament back in 2023, I wanted to help put the fun back in farming. After six years of Labour, rural New Zealand was tired of the relentless waves of red tape and compliance, draining joy from people who just want to work the land.
OPINION: One particular bone the Hound has been gnawing on for years now is how the chattering classes want it both ways when it comes to the success of NZ's dairy industry.
OPINION: Fonterra's $4.22 billion consumer business sale to Lactalis is ruffling a few feathers outside the dairy industry.
OPINION: Finance Minister Nicola Willis could have saved her staff and MBIE time and effort over ‘buttergate’ recently by not playing politics with butter prices in the first place.
On track for a fifth consecutive year of organic milk price increases, Fonterra is seeking more suppliers to meet growing global demand.
Phoebe Scherer, a technical manager from the Bay of Plenty, has won the 2025 Young Grower of the Year national title.
The Fencing Contractors Association of New Zealand (FCANZ) celebrated the best of the best at the 2025 Fencing Industry Awards, providing the opportunity to honour both rising talent and industry stalwarts.
Award-winning boutique cheese company, Cranky Goat Ltd has gone into voluntary liquidation.
As an independent review of the National Pest Management Plan for TB finds the goal of complete eradication by 2055 is still valide, feedback is being sought on how to finish the job.
Beef + Lamb New Zealand has launched an AI-powered digital assistant to help farmers using the B+LNZ Knowledge Hub to create tailored answers and resources for their farming businesses.
A tiny organism from the arid mountains of mainland Greece is facilitating a new way of growing healthier animals on farms across New Zealand.
OPINION: For years, the ironically named Dr Mike Joy has used his position at Victoria University to wage an activist-style…
OPINION: A mate of yours truly has had an absolute gutsful of the activist group SAFE.
