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(From top-left): hanskrieksafe, ahoggardfedfarms, jcollinsminister. (From bottom-left): johnkeypm, johnmcarthymie, tgrosserusambassador, tspieringsfonterra.
Rural News' irreverent and hypothetical look at what's happening in the farming world.
hanskrieksafe: Assh a well-known animalsh lover – and not jusht in the biblical senshe – I find it rathsher dishturbing that in New Zhealand dairy farmshers actshually farmsh dairy cowshs. #veganforlife #meatismurder
ahoggardfedfarms: So @hanskrieksafe, you sat on that bobby calf footage for 15 months before releasing it to a sensationalist TV programme? Good thing you care more about animal welfare than publicity, eh! #fullofit #meattastesgood
hanskrieksafe: Listshen @ahoggardfedfarms, I do lovesh little birdsh, wormsh, sheepsh and calvesh, but it is justsh that I lovesh publishity more! #mediawhore
ahoggardfedfarms @hanskrieksafe: To misquote Nigel Powers – father of Austin – there are only two things I hate in this world : racial intolerance and Dutch animal extremists! You just hit the jackpot. #2for1 #nutjob
jcollinsminister: Thanks@johnkeypm for reinstating me back into the Cabinet. It makes it much easier for me to stab you in the front now; rather than in the back from the backbenches. #backinthetent
johnkeypm: No worries @jcollinminister, but I might borrow one of those stab-proof vests you introduced to the force last time you were police minister. #watchingmybackfrontandsides
johnmcarthymie: It's great to see that MIE will continue fighting the good fight in the meat industry – despite more resignations from its executive than Colin Craig's political party. Actually I wonder if Colin is available to join MIE? #whatisthepoint #whatdowedonow #whoisleft #whocares
tgrosserusambassador: I'm off to the US of A to try to negotiate with the likes of Donald Trump and the gun lobby – much more rational proponents than trying to get sense out of the anti-TPP fanatics like Jane Kelsey or climate change doomsayers in the Green Party! #bliss #solongsuckers
tspieringsfonterra: You know I havshe mucsh in commonsh withsh @hanskrieksafe – we are both Dutchsh and both of ussh are shlowy destroying the NZ dairy indushtry in our own waysh. #doubledutch #timeforanotherpayrise
In the past, much has been made of the concept of farm to fork, but an Australian expert in food science and marketing with experience in the dairy industry, Dr Angeline Achariya, says the reverse of this slogan is critical to win modern day consumers.
A four year trial has reaffirmed that mixing plantain into dairy pastures can help reduce nitrogen losses to freshwater while maintaining milk production and profitability, say researchers.
Fonterra has opened its upgraded Chengdu Application Centre, bringing New Zealand dairy expertise closer to customers in one of China's fastest-growing regions.
Tatua chair Stephen Allen says he leaves the co-op with a deep sense of gratitude for the people who have contributed to its success.
Federated Farmers president Colin Hurst and his family raised a glass of milk last week to toast the start of a new addition to their farming operation at Makihihi, south of Timaru.
Testing confirms H5 bird flu in a single northern giant petrel, found dead on a remote Cape Palliser beach in the Wairarapa, says Dr Mary van Andel, the Ministry for Primary Industries' (MPI) Chief Veterinary Officer.
"What's for dinner?" may sound like a simple question, but for many Kiwi parents, answering it has become a job in itself.
Fifty Eight years ago, on the 16th of August 1968, August Claas, the founder of the harvesting company and father of Helmut Claas, personally presented a Claas Senator combine harvester to Scottish farmer John Steven.
New Zealand consumers are paying more for beef mince than ever before, with the average retail price now sitting above $24 per kilogram, according to Rabobank.
State farmer Pamu has delivered its strongest operating result on record.
Four years since it was first detected in New Zealand, researchers and growers now know much more about management of maize pest fall armyworm (FAW).
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