Election Is Coming, It's Time For The Freebies
OPINION: Flicking through some global news headlines just recently, I spotted something tucked away, which in my opinion rather conveniently had less visibility than it deserved.
OPINION: Should I ever be asked to nominate someone I consider a true-blue, uniquely Kiwi icon entertainer from yesteryear, I would have a couple of names immediately come to mind. Yes, I would have to go for Fred Dagg and Billy T James.
To this day, I still remember some of their humour and skits. I shudder to think how they might be received in today's hyper-sensitive and so easily offended world. They'd get labelled racist for sure!
In today's PC and woke culture, I have no doubt they would need to get back out on the road, to do a follow-up apology tour. That is of course, if they haven't already first been arrested for hate speech!
Don't know about you, but I'm sure we laugh much less now in this wound-up-tight world we find ourselves living in.
Mrs Google can take you to the famed Mayo Clinic, or other similar sites. They will all tell you laughter is great for your health.
For starters, it strengthens the immune system by reducing stress hormones and increasing infection-fighting antibodies. And it also enhances cardiovascular health, to name just a couple of benefits.
Yep, the evidence is overwhelming: laughter is great medicine for both body and soul. It really is important that we learn to lighten up a little.
Now, with all the above in mind, if it has been too long since you have had a good healthy laugh, or for some I make an attempt today to help you out a little, with the following story.
In a court trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney determined to make an impression, confidently called his first witness to the stand. His first witness being a bright-eyed elderly grandmother.
He approached her and asked, "Now... Mrs Jones, do you know me?"
"Why, yes, I do know you Mr Williams," she responded. "I've known you since you were a small boy and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a bigshot when you haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you..."
The lawyer was stunned! How to recover, he wondered. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room to the attorney for the defence and asked: "Mrs Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
Again, she smiled and replied; "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a n ormal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the state.
"Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. And one of them was your wife, Mr Williams! Yes, I do know him..."
Now, both lawyers are more than just a little shell-shocked!
The presiding judge promptly summoned both lawyers to the bench. In little more than a whisper, he said: "If either of you two rascals ask her if she knows me, I'll have you thrown in jail for contempt of court!"
I hope that helps you lighten-up a little today and puts a smile on your face. It's great for your overall health, remember.
Now, it may come as a surprise to some, but the Good Book has several verses that pretty much say the exact same thing. The Mayo Clinic certainly didn't 'discover' this one! Take care and God bless.
To contactf Colin Miller, email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Almond hulls sourced from Australian orchards may have the potential to help New Zealand cows reduce emissions, boost milk yield and lower input costs.
Striking a balance between meeting the needs of industry to speed up approval time for products but on the other hand ensuring that risks are properly assessed.
Surprised, humbled and quite thrilled. That’s the reaction of James Allen, one of the founding partners and now chief executive of AgFirst, on being made a life member of the Institute of Rural Professionals.
It was billed as a chance for all the political parties to woo the rural vote, but question marks hang over just how effective this was.
Minister of Conservation Hon Tama Potaka has appointed Susan O'Regan as Chair of the Queen Elizabeth II National Trust (QEII) for a three-year term.
Red meat farmers are welcoming Labour’s plan to review the Emissions Trading Scheme and not to campaign on pricing agricultural emissions.

OPINION: The same mainstream media muppets that brought you Jacindamania in 2017 have been flat out pimping for the Opportunities…
OPINION: Your old mate reckons the atrocious way farmers in the UK are treated by their lords and masters in…