Thursday, 31 August 2023 14:55

Political con'duct'

Written by The Hound

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OPINION: Your canine crusader has some sage advice for once-a-month, super shopper Sam – aka Tauranga MP Sam Uffindell.

Next month, when you’re at the supermarket, buy an inexpensive item that will enhance your political career.

No, it’s not cheese, but rather a roll of duct tape.

It is guaranteed to seal off the mouth and prevent you from making embarrassing gaffes.

It can also be applied to the feet to anchor them to the ground so that they don’t stray into your mouth should that duct tape around the mouth perchance fail.

Meantime, Sam, if you don’t use the full roll, you can offer it to other MPs – of all political hues – who, from time to time, open their mouths and let the wind blow their tongues around.

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True Reflection?

A fair question has been raised about how member-funded organisations should conduct themselves when taking a public position on any given issue.

The canine crusader always has his nose in the air for more media maleficence, so was pointing as soon as he saw the Stuff headline: ‘Wellington residents respond to PM saying he doesn’t need his job!’.

Civil Circus!

OPINION: It really is getting harder to lampoon government bureaucrats when they do such a good job of it themselves.

Anyone in the primary sector will know about the clowns covering the countryside in the red tape we all have to wade through.

Spare a thought then for media outfit Stuff who were threatened with fines up to $200,000 by a snivelling civil servant from the MoH for illustrating a quiz question with a photo of part of the cover of a 45-year-old copy Playboy.

As Stuff notes, “It wasn’t the Playboy cover which caused offence. No, it was the back page which… featured an advert for a cigarette brand”.

As Regulations Minister David Seymour notes, “The real scandal here is, well, no wonder we’ve got problems in healthcare when they’re doing the Stuff quiz during work time.”

Ewe Zealand First

OPINION: After all the criticism that Winston Peters leveled at the India/NZ FTA, it seemed just a trifle ironic to the Hound that the first NZ politician to visit India after Prime Minister Modi's visit was a member of the Ewe Zealand First party.

Wrong focus

OPINION: Your old mate reckons townie Brooke van Velden, the Minister of Workplace (or is it Woke Place) Relations is now showing how underemployed she is as a minister by initiating an investigation into whether young children should be banned from collecting eggs on farms and feeding animals.

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