Ex-All Black Sam Whitelock Swaps Rugby for Dairy Farming
Returning to the family dairy farm after playing 20 years of professional rugby around the world is no easy task.
I can still remember sitting at the kitchen table on our farm in Cambridge, staring at a to-do list and being completely unable to move.
The jobs were all there in front of me. None of them had changed. But for 30 minutes I just sat there, frozen. At the time, I didn't really understand what was happening. I just knew I couldn't think straight, couldn't make simple decisions, and couldn't seem to get myself going. Looking back now, I can see that stress, anxiety and depression had caught up with me.
When I went through depression around 11 years ago, it felt as though my brain had gone into fight-or-flight mode. It was telling my body something was seriously wrong. The result was that my ability to make even basic decisions disappeared. On a farm, that is dangerous. Farming is full of small judgement calls that have to be made every day - around stock, vehicles, machinery, timing and fatigue. If your head is not clear, the risks rise fast.
I know that from experience. One day I was herding cows when one of them bolted. Instead of taking a second to think, I chased after her on my quad bike and flipped it on its side. It was bloody dangerous, and I was lucky. The truth is I made a poor decision because I was stressed and fatigued. These days I would handle that moment very differently. I would let the cow go, stop, and take a breather.
That one incident taught me something I wish more farmers understood: When stress builds up, it doesn't just affect your mood. It affects your reactions, your judgement and your safety.
Research backs that up. An ACC-funded study for Farmstrong found that 58% of injured farmers linked their injury to stress associated with farm work, and a quarter said it was a major factor. That should stop all of us in our tracks.
New Zealand farmers work in one of the country's highest-risk industries, and too many of us are trying to push through exhaustion, poor sleep, isolation, and pressure as if they are just part of the job. They may be common, but that does not mean they are harmless. In fact, they can be a direct pathway to injury. Farmstrong exists to help farmers and growers "live well to farm well", and ACC has continued to invest in the programme because the link between wellbeing and injury is real.
For me, protecting my wellbeing now comes down to a few simple things that I try not to compromise on. The first is exercise. Getting out for a run or a cycle clears my head and gives me more energy, not less. A lot of farmers will say they do not have time for that, and I used to think the same way. But I have learnt that making time for wellbeing is not a luxury - it is part of being able to do the job properly.
The second is connection. When you are dealing with depression, the temptation is to withdraw and sit at home by yourself. In my experience, that is the worst thing you can do.
These days I make a point of connecting with people whenever I can, even in small ways. It might be chatting to someone in the supermarket, catching up with mates, or getting off the farm for a break. Those moments matter more than I used to realise. If there is one thing I would say to other farmers, it is this: do not wait until you are overwhelmed before you take your wellbeing seriously. And do not be afraid to talk about what you are going through.
I would never have shared my story 11 years ago. I would have been horrified by the idea. But speaking up lets people help, and it may also help someone else recognise what is happening in their own life. We spend our days looking after animals, land and business pressures. We need to get better at looking after ourselves as well, because a clear head is not just good for your mental health - it can keep you safe.
If you're struggling, Farmstrong shares practical tools and farmer stories about managing pressure and staying well, and the Rural Support Trust is available for rural people and farming families who need support.
Five Ways To Wellbeing
- Connect - Developing new friendships and spending time with your mates makes a big difference to how you feel about yourself.
- Give - When you give your time, your words, your presence to others, not only do they benefit, but it makes you feel a lot happier too.
- Take Notice - Each day, take a few moments to pause and think about what you really appreciate.
- Keep Learning - At whatever age, learning new things is good for your brain and keeps your thinking flexible and open.
- Be Active - Working up a sweat releases endorphins that make you feel alert and better able to cope with challenges.
